Ok, I'm serving from the hip, right? I really got going on this blog thing yesterday with 3 entries and a sure sense of vision for what I wanted it to be. I realized that it's kind of a journal entry for all the world to see. A bit scary, but still, I will be judicious about all that is shared. That's how everyone does it, right?
Anyway, the whole idea of serving from the hip kept running around in my head yesterday. I know that I need to serve from the safety and presence of my Abba's hip, secure like a toddler being held. I also know that I need to be honest about how it's hard at times, hard to keep serving. I just want a real view. Good and hard.
Well, today was good. No, that's not it. Not even close. Today is just fantastic, the best Christmas Eve Eve ever!
Today is a culmination of a dream!!! My Ranger, my youngest little son, has had an eventful day. He sought and gained true repentance this day. Today is the day of his salvation!
All of the other kids, Sierra, Serenity, Summit, and Venture all understood their need for salvation when they were 4 years old. We have been praying for Ranger. I want him to remember nothing except always loving Jesus, and truth be told, I like symmetry! I loved the idea of them all being 4 years old!
When Ranger turned 4 a few months ago, my heart became quite overwhelmed with prayer for him. I started many conversations, along the path, rising up, going down (Duet 6), just all the time. I wanted to be sure that he had all that I could give him. It just feels so important to make sure that they all understand the path of salvation.
He has had a base understanding for a long time, but when I would ask him if he wanted to pray, he would tell me something kind of random, like he likes dinosaurs or something. Just not ready. But we kept plugging away. Just a few days ago, one of his dinosaurs ripped, and I tried to use it to teach him about how Jesus fixes us in ways no one else can fix. He's heard, but he has not been ready.
This morning, we did our annual birthday cake for Jesus. The kids love to decorate it, and it is a tradition we really enjoy. We did a chocolate cake, and I talked to the kids about their sin, how it is like a black heart. That it is dark and we need help to make it clean. But then, I told them that we were going to ice it with white icing because Jesus washes us clean, like white snow. I told Ranger that I hoped that one day he would pray and ask Jesus to forgive him for his sin. Serenity asked him if he wanted to pray right then, and he said, "YES!"
I asked him to hold on just one second so that I could run and get the camera! I wanted to preserve this holy moment, for me and for Brian, so that we could all remember the beauty of watching a child be born again!
So, camera at the ready, he began to pray. And with the conviction of the simple understanding, all that is required, he asked Jesus to forgive him for all the bad stuff he's done and thanked Him for the cross. That was it. And I believe that was the moment of his salvation.
I called Brian, who was so overwhelmed as he explained to me that just last night and this morning, he was begging God for the salvation of Ranger and also for some fruit in serving. Coming from that place where it gets hard at times, and we just need some encouragement, Brian asked God for some fruit. Some sign that we were doing what we should be doing. Little did he know how quickly and beautifully that prayer would be answered.
When my other children prayed for forgiveness from sin and received the cross for themselves, I never fed them words. I didn't with Ranger either. I wanted the words to be his, and they were. Still every other time, my mind has quickly raced trying to make sure that it was real and begging God for confirmation. And every time, I have felt rebuked after about the 4th question, "Is this real?!" I have felt Him say to my spirit, "Do not hinder the little children to come unto Me."
This time, I got the message quicker. And it only took me the 5th child to hear! I knew that he knew. I want a full dissertation on propitiation and sanctification and justification and all the other theology that comes with the package. But what I have come to realize is that all those big words are tied up in the simple prayer of a child, "I'm sorry. Thank you." That's it. That's all there is, and that's all it takes.
So we celebrated this day. We finished the cake and talked about the white icing covering the black cake, like Jesus covers our sins. Ranger reminded us of what he had prayed this morning, and when we talked again about how Jesus makes our dark, sinful hearts white as snow, Venture said, "It snowed in my heart."
Precious. Just precious.
Tonight, we will go and buy Ranger his own Bible, with great fanfare and rejoicing. He needs to have some idea of what the angels did when all of Heaven stopped to hear his humble little prayer. And my heart is spilling over as I celebrate the birth of my King who made possible the rebirth of my son.
Merry Christmas, indeed. Happy 2,000+, Jesus. And happy 0th in Jesus, Range. Wow.
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